by David Pardue
Am I the only one who wishes they had some sort of VIP monthly pass to the UCB Theatre? I was just there on Saturday night for the UCB Season 2 taping; last night I took a night off (despite the temptation to witness the rebirth of the Jeff Garlin Combo Platter), and Monday night I’ll be right back at it. I’d better bring some sticks of Super Cool with me in order to keep my energy up.
I could easily spend this entire week at the UCB. If I did, this is what I would see:

Photo by m. berru
Monday: Sarah Thyre’s memoir show Dark at the Roots. I remember Sarah Thyre from Strangers from Candy, and if you throw in her sister Becky (a fave from Mr. Show) as well as Patton Oswalt and Paul F. Tompkins, you’ve got a must-see. Will Mr. Thyre, aka Andy Richter, be there too? Apparently I’m the only one in LA without an Andy Richter sighting. (8pm, $5)
Tuesday: Patton Oswalt will be sleeping over Monday night in order to be there in time to be grilled by Doug Benson for his I Love Movies podcast. (6pm, Free!) And what would Tuesday night be without Comedy Death Ray, this week hosted by Human Giant, who will be showing sneak-preview clips of their new MTV show. (8:30pm, $5) CDR, as always, will be followed by See You Next Tuesday, this week featuring the Sklar Brothers, making Tuesday night one of those special three-bagger nights at the UCB. (10:30pm, Free!)
Wednesday: I have yet to see the MySpace show, but I’ve heard that it’s a favorite of the younger crowd, and it always sells out, so I’d better line up early. If I’ve learned anything recently, no alt-comedy show would be complete without a MySpace reference, a YouTube reference, and some sort of rape joke; hopefully that night, I’ll get all three. (9:30pm, $5)
Thursday: I love the UCB’s double-bills, which are a great way to see something new and something old at the same time. I love Hard ‘N Phirm, so if I go check out their show, I get to see Pete and Brian’s One Man Show as well. Apparently you vote whether to see Pete’s show or Brian’s; since I’ve never seen either one, I’ll probably just flip a coin. Unless anyone can give me some inside information as to which one’s better. (8pm, $5)
Friday: Common sense should suggest that I take a night off, but this week there’s a full night of Chicago-style improv with two (2) Harold Night double bills, (8pm, $5) or, in other words, four (4) complete Harolds. (9:30pm, $5) Improv such as ASSSSCAT is the meat and potatoes of the UCB, and tonight I’ll get to see the next generation of cats’ asses.
Saturday: Any night where Paul F. Tompkins is recording a CD for AST Records is a special night in and of itself. (10pm, $8) But I want more, and I’m tempted to check out ASSSSCAT beforehand. (8pm, $8) This will be my sixth ASSSSCAT. As far as I’m concerned, I’m five for five; meet any of the ASSSSCAT diehards who populate the front two rows and you’ll find out that they go every damn week, and they laugh their asssses off every damn week.
Sunday: Why not double up my weekend ASSSSCATs? (7:30, Free!) The Sunday night one is the free one, followed by the Jeff Garlin Combo Platter (9:30pm, $1) for an extra dollar. That’s a night of comedy for a dollar. Someday when I’m rich and famous I’m going to drop a hundy in the Bucket of Truth.
The day I can drop a Benjamin on Franklin Ave. is the day I know I’ve made it. Until then, I’m going to enjoy a weeks worth of comedy at the UCB Theater for, let’s see here, a total of $47 dollars for all the shows I’ve just mentioned. Isn’t that equivalent to one night, two drinks, and two “n” words at the Laugh Factory?