Orange County’s classiest couple, Sky & Nancy Collins (Marc Evan Jackson & Carrie Clifford) are packing up the SUV and taking a trip up on the crowded 5 highway this week for a couple of shows; first headlining One Stand Standable at The Improv on Tuesday night (10pm, $13) before heading across town to the M Bar on Wednesday night to take part in You’re Welcome (8pm, $5). Beforehand, the duo agreed to answer a few questions.

How did you two meet?

Sky: I don’t really remember how we met. Oh, yes I do. I was leaving divorce court after breaking up with Dodi (my first wife…a flight attendant…still hot). I went to lunch with some of my friends who were like, “Sky, this is Dodi.” No wait…”Nancy.” They were like, “Sky, this is Nancy.”

Nancy: I had just gotten my nails done so I remember I gave you an awkward hand shake. Sometimes I tell people we met on a reality show. Can you imagine?!

What’s an ordinary weekend like in the Collins household?

Sky: I don’t work anymore (I retired last year at age 35. I was in hedge funds, which was really complicated, so I sold it), so everyday is like the weekend to me. We’re busy, though. We sail, or whatever. On our boat. We have a boat. S’really nice. We do other stuff, too.

Nancy: Well, this weekend isn’t going to be ordinary. Our nanny asked if she could take Friday night off. Apparently it’s her daughter’s “quintessential,” or something.

Sky: Yeah, her daughter’s turning 15 in Mexican years, which is like 21 or 22 to us.

Nancy: So we fired her. But we still have twilight golf to look forward to on Saturday.

How do you feel about “the war on terror”?

Nancy: That sounds scary. Is that opening this weekend? I think I’m going to go see “Year of the Dog” instead.

Sky: To me, you know…war is terrifying. And terror is almost always terrifying, too. ‘Cause it’s like, I mean, the whole thing is just….you know what I mean? I mean, it’s like, fuckin’, just like the whole fuckin’ thing is scary. And I think it would be better if less people were, you know, terrified. No more war of any kind. Except Iraq. ‘Cause those guys need, fuckin’, you know…freedom.

I’m heading to the OC this weekend. Can you point me in the direction of a good, but modestly-priced, restaurant?

Sky: Modestly priced? I don’t know…like Friday’s maybe?

Nancy: A modest restaurant? Does it wrap itself in a towel because it’s embarrassed to be naked around others? Ha ha ha! Oh, I should use that one. Write it down honey.

What kind of effect did the hit TV show “The OC” have on how Orange County is viewed?

Nancy: I just love that show. But let me tell you all district attorneys do not look like Peter Gallagher. I had to press charges against some wayward youth who used our pool for some Friday night fun, and that DA was so overweight and had over grown nose hairs. All I could think about when we were in court was, “I want to give you a makeover!”

Sky: I think it gave a bad impression of what Orange County is really like. Like those people they showed didn’t really do much, or whatever. And they just went around, and like spent a bunch of money and partied and stuff. And it’s like, there are people starving out there. Not here. I don’t mean here. I don’t think anyone’s starved in Orange County in like, forever.

Do you have any favorite comedians?

Sky: I like Katt Williams. I think he’s fuckin’ hilarious. Especially when he does that part about when…you know, when he’s like, “Where are all my…” I can’t say it. But he’s fuckin’ hilarious.

Nancy: Oh, I like so many comedians. I’m really impressed with Carlos Mencia these days. He has so much material, and it’s so funny. I want to set him up with our housekeeper.